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Welcome to the new and improved podcast.

If you’re a returning listener of Conceive the Podcast with Libby, welcome back. No Libby this time, but she’s still here in the background always. And if you’re new, I’m so glad that you found your way here. At the moment of recording this, my podcast currently doesn’t have a name, but I’m still talking all things fertility, and I’m still here to provide any information and some questions you have along the way about all things fertility.

If you don’t know me, my name is Jaya. I’m a natural fertility expert with over 15 years of experience. I’ve pretty much seen it all over the last 15 years, and I really wanted to create this platform as a space to share that information that I know in my take on it and hope that it can make your journey a little bit easier.

I think that the whole IVF world is completely overwhelming and finding your place in the people that you align with is a really important part of how you get the answers that are going to serve you the best. What I mean by that is that everyone has different values and different ways that they want to solve a problem. Either you’re completely natural or you’re really into the conventional medicine side of things. You want everything that’s evidence-based, or you’re someone who wants to take bits and pieces of both worlds. And if you’re that person, you’re in the right place because that’s exactly where I come from.

Not living in judgment, trying to do everything you can naturally in terms of preparation, I’m really into understanding where the problem is first to then take your next steps. And then from there, figuring out what’s the best course of action for you in terms of, yes, we’ve tried all of this naturally, but now it’s time to consider looking at these aspects of conventional medicine, whether it’s ovulation induction, or it’s taking some medication to help you with your next stage forward, or needing IVF. But there’s no shame in that. And I want you to know that there isn’t a right way to go through a fertility journey. There’s only the right way for you.

A little bit about my background. I want to keep this episode pretty quick. It’s just a bit of an introduction video, but just want to give you a bit of an understanding of who I am and what this podcast is going to be about.

I began my career in Chinese medicine and acupuncture, and pretty early on in my career, I got a job at an IVF support clinic next to Melbourne IVF. I was just thrown into this whole new world and it really blew my mind. I got excited about this whole new world of fertility. I loved working with IVF clients. I then spent the next 10 years working with every practitioner I could that specialised in fertility to know everything I can about how to support people.

From there, I dove into functional medicine. I have grown this big interest in root cause medicine, not just from the Chinese medicine perspective, but something that’s a little bit more data driven with testing and using really strategic answers for that on how we get the best results. I have found the acupuncture in Chinese medicine holds so much value and it’s just such a beautiful way to treat people. I’ve been getting much better results with the functional testing and almost training a bit more like a functional medicine doctor and a naturopath. So that’s where my passion has really led me to. And then I’ve also done my master’s in reproductive medicine.

The understanding that conventional medicine side of things has been really important to me. And now that I have trained in all these different areas, I feel like I can take the best of both worlds and help to guide my clients into the journey that’s right for them. Because what I found that over time was that clients were coming in to see me for acupuncture. And when it comes to fertility, it’s just, it’s too complex. They’re coming in and they’re talking about their Western medicine diagnosis, they’re talking about the drugs they’re taking, their IVF cycles. And if you don’t know what that all means and then how that affects the work that you’re doing as a Chinese medicine practitioner or a naturopath, you’re just so far behind in the game. But being across all approaches has been really important.

I really sit at the intersection of natural and conventional medicine. I don’t think there is one right or wrong way to do it. And I really want to open up this space for you to just know that there’s lots of different ways to do it. And guilt and shame has no place in your fertility journey.

I know what it’s like to feel guilt and shame about doing something a particular way. I was raised in a very natural household—massage, crystals, oils, natural cleaning products, you name it. My mum is still my best friend, but she has been very driven by that natural world. And so I think I always thought falling back on that was always the right thing to do, that if we did everything right, then naturally our bodies would know what to do. We could bring ourselves back into alignment and we could heal things. That was always in the back of my mindset and probably why I decided to study Chinese medicine.

But things really changed for me when I fell pregnant with my daughter, my first child. My husband Nic’s a chiropractor, and we’re both in the natural health world. And it just kind of seemed like the right choice for us that we would try and have a home birth. I was also working a lot in the natural birth world. I was working at the Birth House in Geelong and doing a lot of acupuncture there for pregnancy. So I was immersed in that world and was really open to it.

It’s funny though—pregnancies and all these different types of journeys can teach you so much about yourself. The birth didn’t go as planned. I ended up in a four day labour and an emergency caesarean. And the most interesting thing was the minute that I landed in hospital, I felt absolute relief and knew this was the place that I wanted to be in.

Then I had a really difficult breastfeeding journey and struggled to feed. And I went through this whole phase of feeling like an absolute failure, feeling like I couldn’t birth my child, I couldn’t feed her. It was a huge shock to me that I then found out that I was pregnant again five months later. I found out the day my daughter turned five months and it was the day before I was actually going back to work. So it was an enormous shock. And it was then hard to make the decision of what to do next.

I was in this real bind because I had all these other people from the natural health world who were not pushing, but really suggesting that I try and have a VBAC. And then I had the hospital saying that it’s not safe because it’s within 18 months and that a booked caesarean would be the right path for me. But I was exhausted and I honestly did not have the emotional stretch to go up against the hospital and fight for a VBAC when I wasn’t actually sure that I really wanted it. But I felt like as a natural health practitioner, it’s what I should be pushing for, and it’s something I should be doing.

And I was in a real bind about this. I was really stressed. I was going through a lot. I still had a young baby and I was pregnant again.

But then a really beautiful midwife who’s a good friend of mine, who I had hired to help me with this pregnancy, said to me, “Jaya, an empowered birth or an empowered journey is not about doing things naturally or medically. It’s about being empowered in your decisions.” And from that moment, it was like a switch went off for me. I was like, “You’re so right. It’s not about doing it naturally or doing it medically and being a hero. It’s about making the decision that’s right for you.”

And in that moment, I made the call. I booked in this caesarean. It all went beautifully. And I knew I was in the right place and making the right decision for me.

I share this story because this experience with my children has completely reshaped how I work with my fertility clients. Because I don’t want them to feel ashamed or judged about any of their decisions. I want them to feel empowered to go on the journey that’s right for them, because there’s no right way of doing it.

And this is why I always like to ask people what their emotional stretch is like. You might feel really, really dedicated to doing things naturally. And you go, “I’ll give it as long as it takes.” Whereas the person next to you says, “I don’t even care about that. I’ll do what I need to do naturally. And then I want to do IVF.” And no one should feel ashamed in the decisions that they want to make.

So what can you expect from this podcast?

I want to do a deep dive into complex fertility. I think there’s a lot of information out there where we’re talking about a lot of the basics. I’ll still cover the basics, but I really want to have a space for the people where it’s not working. Those people who go, “I’ve done all those things and I feel alone and I feel like there’s no one there to support me on this journey.” People who are poor responders for IVF, who’ve been told that their egg quality is the problem, have lumped into that box of unexplained infertility, or male fertility is just not even checked.

I also want to teach you how to blend the best of natural and medical approaches with confidence and just have some really honest conversations about the emotional side of fertility. Because we do all the right things. We’re told what to eat, how to move, when we should be having sex, and all those things in between. But no one’s really talking about the mental load that women are carrying on this journey.

When we talk about the fact that you need to de-stress, which feels like another job for most people, these are the things that a massage won’t fix. You know, that extra yoga class—because this mental load and this worry, it follows you wherever you go. And it’s an accumulation of being told, “You need to do all of these things. Your partner is not that important in the journey. He did a sperm test and he has sperm, so it’s okay.” But outside of that, you’re carrying all of this by yourself, which means you’re carrying the worry. And when no one can tell you what’s wrong, you’re also then looking everywhere in between to figure out if there’s an answer somewhere. I’m talking late night Google searches and everything else in between.

So giving you some strategies and some tools on how to drop that mental load and feel like you’re somewhat yourself is going to be something that we’re going to talk about a lot as well. Because this version of who you are now—the one that feels angry, is worried all the time, feels like she’s lost connection with her body and does not trust it at all—I just want you to know that this is a season. This is not who you will be forever. It is a phase of your life. I don’t want you to think that this is who you’ve become now.

Okay, so this podcast is really for you and anyone else who’s listening, any of your friends who have also been struggling on their journey. I would love it if you would give me some questions or some topic requests that you want me to cover. You can email me anytime, jaya@fertilitywithjaya.com or you can search me on Instagram, @fertility.with.jaya, and just send me a DM because I’m here to make sure you’re supported every step of the way.

I’m going to wrap that up there. Thank you for listening and I’ll see you in the next episode.