It’s hard to know what to do next when you’re trying to have a baby and it’s just… not happening.

Your GP says one thing.
Your friends say another.
Google? Don’t even go there.

And in the middle of it all you’re left wondering whether it’s time to take the next step and see a fertility specialist.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, I want you to know: you’re not alone.
And you’re not behind.

Let’s talk about when to get help and how to make that experience work for you.

Seeing a fertility specialist doesn’t mean you’re jumping into IVF.

I get it. Taking that next step can feel scary.
You’ve seen what IVF puts your friend through emotionally, physically, financially.
You’re not sure if you’re ready or if you even want to go there.

But the first appointment with a fertility specialist is usually just a starting point.
Think of them as another support person on your team. A good specialist will explore why things aren’t working and offer extra investigations before jumping to treatment.

They should take things slowly and build a plan that works for you.
If you feel pushed or pressured that’s a red flag, not a requirement.

So, when is the right time?

The official guidelines say:

• If you’re under 35 – seek help after 12 months of trying.
  
• If you’re over 35 – seek help after 6 months.
  

But here’s the truth: those aren’t rules. They’re just starting points.

You’re allowed to consider your personal situation, your emotional wellbeing, and your gut instinct.

If the stress and anxiety of trying is impacting your life, it’s okay to get an assessment sooner.

Two big reasons people come to me for guidance sooner:

1. Age

If you’re approaching 40, time matters, not because your body is broken, but because the fertility window is narrower.
Early investigations can empower you to make decisions with confidence—not panic.

2. Impatience (the good kind)

I get it. (Ask my husband how patient I am…)
When you want a baby, waiting is torture. And wondering if something is wrong can eat away at your peace.

That impatience? It’s not a weakness – it’s telling you to get clarity.

Working through red flags and understanding your next steps can relieve so much of the stress.
And here’s the wild thing: I’ve seen so many couples fall pregnant naturally right after getting that all-clear from testing. Sometimes, reassurance is powerful medicine.

The best thing you can do right now? Prepare.

Whether you’re trying naturally or planning to explore IUI or IVF, I recommend taking 3–6 months to truly support your body before jumping into treatment.

Here’s what that looks like:

• Prioritise sleep
  
• Reduce stress (for real, not just “try relaxing”)
  
• Quit smoking
  
• Cut back on alcohol
  
• Move consistently. Find something you enjoy
  
• Get a full set of fertility-specific blood tests
  
• Work with someone who interprets them for optimal health, not just “normal” ranges
  
• Clean up your nutrition. Focus on protein, healthy fats, and whole foods
  
• Take the right prenatal and supplements based on your body and labs
  

This prep phase can radically improve egg and sperm quality, boost implantation, and reduce the need for invasive treatment later on.

Pro tip: Book ahead (just in case)

Let’s say you’re giving yourself six more months before seeing a specialist.
Book the appointment now, even if you’re not ready yet.

Fertility specialists often have long wait times, and this gives you a backup plan.
Most of my clients feel an enormous sense of relief knowing that option is there.. if they need it.

And the best part? You can always cancel or reschedule it if you fall pregnant before then. (Which happens more often than you think.)

Choose the right doctor for you.

Not all specialists are the same.
Some are warm and nurturing. Others are no-nonsense and direct.
Some focus on IVF. Others are known for their work in endo, thyroid conditions, or male factor.

You’re allowed to choose someone who aligns with your values, your needs, and the experience you want to have.

Trust is everything.
If it’s not there, the journey becomes so much harder.

Finding the right support on your fertility journey can feel overwhelming.
But you don’t have to figure it all out alone.

These blogs are here to help you make informed decisions – without panic, without pressure, and without getting lost in the Google spiral.

Jaya x